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Comments:
Well let me frist say thankyou!!!!! I had a great time she was so easy to talk to. Made my day no drama at all and now days that is saying a lot .. She was so understanding. She felt really wonderful to me. Well worth my time. I can't say enough about her. You will miss out if you don't get a hold of her. What are you doing you better call
need more pics of her, rear view, smaller top
I think it's cheating. JMO.
Dear HiFi Guy, I know all too well how difficult it is to walk away from someone who admits that they have feelings for you but just can't allow themselves to act on those feelings. It's a tough thing to hear. But, strange as it might seem at first, the fact of the matter is that it's not your problem. How can that be, you might ask, when because of this woman's decision you are denied the joy of having her in your life as your girlfriend? It's affecting you, yes. But it's not your problem to solve. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about -- you can check out my "soap opera finale" from a couple of weeks ago if you'd like to see specifically. Basically this woman seems to be too wishy-washy to take a stand, to actively pursue something she contends she'd like to have in her life -- in this case, a relationship with you. Why doesn't matter, because the only person who can change this is her. The fact that she's unable/unwilling to even discuss her reasons with you beyond glib, meaningless labels like "love is not enough" ought to tell you that she's not really interested in changing. She's content to stay in her little world of angst. There's no self-examination going on, no questioning of how she could get over her doubts. She has not actually asked you to help her, and that illustrates all the more that she's not really interested in changing. She's perfectly happy to have you stay stuck in orbit around her, she'll *allow* you to remain oriented toward her, and she'll even *encourage* you to remain so by admitting to you that she misses you and implying vaguely that maybe, someday ... In my book that's emotional exploitation. If someone knows what a great person you are and truly values you and your well-being, she will not subject you to her angst & melancholy when she knows that she's not going to do anything to move out of them. She's stuck in limbo, so you should be too? This is not how one shows another respect and consideration. If she's so helpless and lacking in self-awareness that she's not even aware of what she's doing to you, you won't be able to help her see the light. If she's so self-absorbed that the fact that she's taking advantage of your love for her doesn't bother her, you still won't be able to help her see the light. In fact, I very much doubt that you will be able to help her see the light under any circumstances. Say the two of you maintain a "friendship" -- would she be able to deal with you dating other women? If you got serious about someone would she be supportive and happy for your happiness, or would she try to sabotage your new relationship? For that matter, could you handle her dating other men? Getting serious with someone else? I don't think you really want to subject yourself to what she's offering. What would you get out of it? And ultimately, what will she get out of it -- besides your technical assistance -- if you allow her fears & doubts to define your relationship? Maybe the one meaningful gift you could give her would be to refuse to play her game, to refuse to validate her screwed-up approach to relationships & her emotions. If you loved her but she simply didn't feel the same would you try to convince her that she did? Believe it or not it amounts to the same thing. You shouldn't have to convince anyone to love you, or to "give in" to their love for you. When I told my ex that I'd had enough of his melodrama & angst, he grew defensive and bitter (although he projected his bitterness onto me). I've realized that he needed to distance himself from his feelings for me, but he only wanted to do so on his terms: which were him walking away from me (but not too far away), and me mournfully carrying the torch for him, waiting for him to come to his senses. Once I provided the distance on my terms -- dismissal and relative indifference -- he was angry. Which just shows all the more to me that he wasn't really concerned at all with how I felt, with how his behavior & words affected me. His expectations of me were completely unrealistic. He would not be happy to learn that I've got a new person in my life. He has demonstrated, unfortunately, that he's not fit to be my friend. It sounds to me like that's true of this woman. You've got to do what's right for your current well-being and future potential for happiness. She doesn't seem promising for those things.
If she says she doesn't know, or wants to keep playing the field,
another fave
well suddenly im caught in the whirlwind of flirting incessantly with a co-worker for the past month. hes not really a co-worker b/c i'm only an intern and will be outta there at the end of the month. we have a great time and talk alot. i've never met anyone like him who can keep up with me! b/c of work, we go out to lunch together everyday and we've hung outside of work twice. we have a fantastic time just talking and laughing hysterically. he tells me he's really comfortable with me. and i am comfortable with him. its about that time now tho...i feel like it needs to go ahead the next step, and he's been saying "...whenever your ready" kinda deal. and now throughout all this fun i'm having, my x wants to get back together with me. but i cant go back to him b/c he's messed up so badly and i just dont think i believe in second chances.
Not wanting to spend a lot of time together would make it difficult to have a serious relationship.
If things are dwindling this early on, I think it's not a good sign of longevity or compatibility.